Life Of The Party? - PART I

Generally, I find there are 3 types of people at a House Party/BBQ/Beer Garden Event:
The Corner Dweller, The Quietly Confident, The Life Of The Party.
Which of these would you consider you are? Let us take a closer look:


1. The Corner Dweller - Let's call him Sam. Sam gets invited to a Birthday Party by his best friend. Sam thinks to himself.... "Oh GOD, I hate parties. Am I doing something else that night? PLEASE, let me be doing something else that night. Caring for my sick Granny? Saving the life of a small child? Working? Ooh, There's one I can use - simple, effective... Hmm, maybe not. That works most times, but this is my best friend's Birthday. I HAVE to go. Might get a migraine halfway through. Or just get smashed. One of those will do".
Sam is one of those people at parties that most others assume have their heads up their arseholes. He enters the room, exchanges pleasantries with the host and maybe 1 or 2 other people he knows well, then wanders over to the darkest corner.

He comes across aloof. He answers questions about himself with one word answers. He rolls his eyes at the people dancing in the middle of the room like they're retards. If someone asks him to come dance, he says "err, no. I DON'T dance". He often doesn't laugh at people's jokes. Whenever someone tries to spark conversation with him, he suddenly needs to go pee .... for the 7th time that hour, or he excuses himself and moves to one of the other corners. Sam generally doesn't make a very good impression all round.
People generally don't approach Sam after the first try as they've decided he's pretty full of himself and they don't want to feel rejected when they begin conversation but get a dead fish in response, making them feel a bit silly and awkward.
When it's time for Sam to leave, he'll give the host a quick "gotta get going, really tired" then slip out the door as nobody notices.

Sam's not a bad guy though. The truth is, he most likely spends the entire night terrified, feeling like everyone is judging him. Like they can see every single one of his faults like he has them written across his forehead. Judging his looks, his weight, his hair, his clothing, and judging every single word he says.

No, Sam isn't a paranoid Schizophrenic. He just has a fear of Social situations.

Sam might also be incredibly self-concious and most likely has no self confidence whatsoever. The words 'Party' or 'BBQ' to Sam, switches on panic alarms from the get go.

Upon leaving for the Party, Sam's heart rate increases, he feels sick, he starts coming up with all kinds of last-minute escape plans. If he thinks he can get away with it, he'll use one. If he knows he won't, he does his best to 'get through the ordeal' as quietly and quickly as possible.

Or there's the other option. Sometimes Sam just gets absolutely smashed as quickly as possible. The panic subsides, the fears vanish. Then Sam's feelings go to the other extreme, suddenly he's SUPERMAN and DEMANDS the attention of each and every one at the Party. Quite possibly coming across somewhat obnoxious, or even just like a total knob. At least that's what he'll believe the next day.

2. The Quietly Confident - Her name can be Sally. She's the one at the Party who enters with a smile, doesn't seem to care where she stands or sits, she's happy to be anywhere in the room and seems to mingle well. She's pleasant, happy to engage in small talk, she'll laugh conservatively, but never loudly.
Sally will have a few drinks, but probably rarely gets drunk. She's composed and gracious. She won't get noticed from the other side of the room, but if someone stumbles across her conversation, they'll probably like her quite a bit and try to engage with her themselves.
Sally will most likely not dance, or if she does it's in a very conservative and graciously fashion and only for a very short time.
When it's time for Sally to leave, she'll make her way around and try to say a nice goodbye to everyone she's met that night, whilst extending her hand or her cheek to them and giving them a warm smile.

Yes, it's more than likely that Sally is indeed, a quietly confident person. She isn't intimidated by a new Social situation yet she doesn't need to let the World know she's there either.
She may have once been a Corner Dweller, She may have once been Life Of The Party. Maybe she's always been the Quietly Confident. But she's settled nicely into who she is and doesn't need the affects of alcohol to be where she is.
We all like Sally. She's nice.

TO BE CONCLUDED IN PART II - 'The Life Of The Party' and a closer look at all 3.
:-)